Convenience: the 'other' C-word...

Convenience, we all love it don't we?
When we're shopping,
when we're cooking,
when we're doing anything that would have otherwise been a big fat PITA!
(pain in the ass)
Convenience does come in handy doesn't it?

Want to know
one thing
that convenience should
never
be associated with?

Friendship!

Don't be a friend of convenience,
don't call only when YOU want to talk but never listen,
or bitch that this same friend is calling you once a day just to say hi.

YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY THAT SOMEONE IS THINKING ABOUT YOU, RIGHT?

One would think...

...the reality is that I'm starting to rethink this 'friendship' of ours.
Sure we've known each other forever...
sure you know me better than anyone else does...
sure there are parts of me that you hold dear & vice versa
but truly
you are ONLY that 'wonderful sweet' friend
when IT SUITS YOU!

Always an agenda,
even though you don't realize it.

Not every day
&
unconditionally
as friendship SHOULD be.
Not with you...
not at all.

If you stand to gain something from it,
then sure you're 'that friend'...

...otherwise, you're just that guy
who lives on that street
in that yellow house with the red shutters.

I am seriously tired of being the 'unconditional' friend
to a friend whose
friendship comes with a boatload of
'CONDITIONS' attached.

It ends tonight.

No more calls.
No more going out of my way.
No more being sweet just because I love you.

No
more
one
way
street
friendship,
period.

I'm done.

The Obvious Nothing...

You know what really pisses me off?
When a friend who is no longer a 'friend',
lies to you,
to your FACE,
but does a shitty ass job at it
& KNOWS deep down
that YOU KNOW THEY'RE LYING
but DOES SO ANYWAYS
just to avoid
ADMITTING
that you were
RIGHT
years ago when you said
that maybe
they were about to make
the biggest mistake ever.

It's even worse
when even though
you KNOW
they're lying
& are miserable,
that a certain family member
of theirs
VALIDATES
those suspicions
as TRUTH!

Hey, you wanna live your life unhappily putting on a show for the rest of the world while secretly being miserable & missing your old life, your old friends, your old 'self'?

Be.
My.
Guest.

But
DO NOT
come into
MY HOUSE
&
PRETEND THAT
NOTHING
HAPPENED,
THAT
NOTHING
CHANGED,
THAT
NOTHINGS WRONG
WITH
YOU
TRYING
TO
HUG
ME!



It's sad, it pisses me off & it should never have ended up like this, ever.

But, it did, & you chose this life...

...as the saying goes;

you made your bed, now lie in it.

I'll be over here enjoying my life,
sadly,
without the 'you' I used to know...

...& love.

Crazy Bitches!!!!

Ok so I sign online today and I get an IM from one of my "friends" who proceeds to FREAK OUT on me for not talking to her for like a week. Are you fucking serious?! I'm sorry I have a wife, daughter, and work to deal with!!!! Not to mention all the other day to day bullshit that comes along with life and she's bitching about that?! This is what she IMs me with:

CrazyBitch: Are u avoiding me? Well whatever i am canceling the gym. Its not like u use it.

Ummm .. what the fuck? I've been too busy to talk to her so therefore I am avoiding her and because I haven't gone to the gym with her that means I'm not using the membership, huh glad I was clued in on that!!!! Then she starts calling me "shady" because she's the one paying for the gym membership and she's now out of work and "can't afford it". Let me break it down for you. She wanted to join the gym and didn't want to go alone. I told her that it wasn't in our budget and we just couldn't do it at the time. She offered to have her DADDY pay for it since he pays for ALL of her bills. Yes, ALL of them. He pays her rent, cell phone, car insurance, etc. She's currently on food stamps and cash assistance because she's not working. Why isn't she working? Simply because she's too fucking lazy to get a job. She's had about a dozen jobs in the time that I've known her (which really isn't that long). She's been FIRED from each job she's had.

Then she's claiming poverty about having to support herself and my niece (which you know about all the damn drama from previous posts). She's not supporting herself or my niece her father is so why the hell is she bitching about me not paying for her gym membership?????? It's not like she's charged extra for me to be on it. They were doing a two for one deal so if she takes me off the membership and keeps hers she's still paying the same amount!!!! Numerous times over the last year she has complained about paying for the membership and I have told her to cancel the membership if it was a problem for her to pay for it. Each and every time her daddy came to her rescue and put $$ in her account to cover ALL her expenses.

She sends me this message and then signs off so I can't reply:

U can take the girl out of the trash but u cant take the trash out of the girl. Goodbye

So now I'm trash??? I'm the ONLY friend this girl had. She doesn't really have any family here besides her dad and her step mom (her dad secretly gives her $ w/o her step mom knowing cause she'd get pissed) yet they have a adopted son that they spoil to no end. I've been the one who has listened to her bitch and complain about my brother in law. I'm the one who has given her advice and fought with my wife's family because of my friendship with her. Yet, regardless of the backlash I suffered I maintained my friendship with her all for her to turn psycho on me?! I didn't even do anything to deserve it!!!!!!

My wife has been saying for MONTHS that she has a crush on me. The girl would buy me stuff, show up at places, call me, etc. I told my wife she was nuts, but now after not talking to her for a week and having her FREAK OUT on me I'm thinking maybe she was right.

Your thoughts????

It shouldn't be this hard!!!

When I got married three years ago, I decided I wanted my bridal shower to be a surprise. I was going to be totally hands off, which is hard for me to do, and just let it happen. I figured I had enough stress getting ready for the wedding, I didn't need any more. Well, that didn't work so well. My sister, who was my maid of honor, had just moved to Washington D.C. for school, so she was not close by to arrange anything. The rest of my bridesmaids were scattered around the state and country , no one seemed to want to take charge and friends who had offered to help dropped the ball. I got more phone calls asking me what was going on than I can count. In the end, my mom put something together, it was mostly a surprise, but by this time I knew something was up. Then my husband, being a dumb boy, didn't think to include a number of important females in his life, friends moms who he's known for years, wives/girlfriends of friends things like that..so there were some hurt feelings and I was perceived as a snob who didn't want to include his friends. ( I fixed that real quick and totally told them to blame Hubby, since it was a surprise to me..and they all did! He won't make that mistake again).
So when I found out I was pregnant, I decided to take a more hands on approach to my shower. I know Emily Post would have heart failure to know that I basically planned my own shower, and some friends thought it was tacky, but fuck em. After the stress of the bridal shower, I figured the more involved I was the less could go wrong and I need more stress now like I need a hole in my head!!! So my mom and I put our heads together and came up with a date and time. We decided to hold it at my in-laws church building since it was big and there was room for kids to run and...well..it was free. My mom was a bit stressed and didn't really want to deal with the invitations, understandable since she did the bridal shower ones. I figured it would be really tacky for me to send them out. Enter our friend we'll call Morgan. She offered to help out and was really excited to do it. Now I doubt that Morgan will ever have children of her own, so I figured this was her living it out through me. So I went to the fifth level of Hell knows as Babies R Us and picked up the free, fill in the blank invitations,they give you if you register there. I printed out all the address labels for the guests and even return labels for Morgan. All she had to do was fill in the one sided invitation, throw in some directions and stick them in the mail. I gave her this stuff in JANUARY. A couple weeks went by and no one had received anything. Then disaster struck Morgan and her girlfriend ended up in the hospital with a blood clot in her lungs and a week later Morgan had a heart attack. Not to be insensitive, but a one point I called her in the hospital and asked what the status was with the invites, we were less than two weeks away from the RSVP and no one had seen one and people were asking questions. Turns out they hadn't been sent yet!!!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKEN KIDDING ME!!!!! YOU"VE HAD THE SHIT FOR THREE WEEKS....I know there has been sickness and this wasn't a priority, but shouldn't they have been out BEFORE you all got sick. So I told Morgan's girlfriend that if there was too much stuff going on, I would come down and pick up the invites and get them sent out. She PROMISED it would be done that weekend. And it was.

All is well now right??? WRONG!!!!

The problem. Well at least 1/3 that I know of HAVE THE WRONG FUCKEN DATE!! HOW DO YOU SEND OUT INVITATION, THAT HAS THE WRONG DATE!! I MEAN THE WHOLE THING IS WRONG, DAY, DATE MONTH EVERYTHING IS WRONG! THE FUCKEN INVITES AREN'T EVEN THE ONES I GAVE HER, NOWHERE DOES IT SAY THAT IT IS A BABY SHOWER (i thought it was obvious but apparently some people thought it was some weird religious ceremony that they had missed) IT NEGLECTS TO MENTION THAT I AM REGISTERED AT THE FIFTH LEVEL OF HELL AND THERE IS NO ADDRESS TO THE FUNCTION HALL. Oh, and did I mention that I don't even know if everyone got them, cause three family members didn't!!!!!!
Now, I can't very well yell at the girl cause she just had a heart attack. And I know that her heart was in the right place in wanting to make the invitations more special and all that shit. HOWEVER, if you are going to volunteer to do something this important for someone, be sure that you: A. have the time, B. have the intention, and C. ARE RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO GET IT FUCKEN DONE!!!! The sad thing is, part of me expected this. I love Morgan to pieces, but there is always some drama in her life that causes her to not always be 100% reliable. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because I KNOW she is excited about the baby and this is as close as she'll get. But now this shower as turned into stress central. I had to make a million phone calls to be sure everyone got the correct date and knows about the registry and all that other stuff. The shower is this weekend and my mom still doesn't even know how many people are coming, because Morgan has gone MIA again. So come this Saturday, there could be 10 people at my shower, there could be 50, who the hell knows.

I swear, next time I"m just gonna do it my self.

I need a drink!

You Know What Sucks...?

...BUYING A WHOLE PACKAGE OF BRAND NEW AA BATTERIES
(EXPENSIVE ONES I MIGHT ADD!)
WITH EVERY INTENTION OF USING THEM
IN YOUR FABULOUS FANTASM'ORGASMIC ELECTRICAL FRIEND
&
NOT BEING IN THE MOOD TO SO MUCH AS OPEN THE PACKAGE,
NEVER MIND ACTUALLY PUTTING THEM IN THEIR NEW HOME
& CRANKIN' THAT PUPPY UP TO FULL THROTTLE!

What the FUCK is wrong with me tonight?

You know, this isn't a big deal, it's life as I know it... single, get my own rocks off, big deal, it's normal for me.
SO WHY TONIGHT AM I NOT EVEN IN THE MOOD FOR ANYTHING?
You know, it's one thing when another person isn't in the mood to be with you in that way
BUT IT'S ANOTHER ALL TOGETHER
WHEN IT'S YOU
WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU!

So that's the state of things right now & to top it all off,
I literally, TONIGHT, have come to the decision that, fuck it-
never mind it 'not being fair to someone else' for me to go on a date if my heart was otherwise occupied elsewhere,
NOW
I've realized that
IT'S NOT FAIR TO ME
to sit
&
wait
&
wait
&
wait
for said 'owner of my heart'
TO COME TO HIS FUCKING SENSES!

The hell with that, I'm done worrying about what's fair for others!
It's time for me to worry about what's fair for ME!
And tonight, ME wants to MOVE ON & find myself a nice, new DATE!

You know,
I'd suggest the handsome man I recently had a desire to kiss,
after all, the boy is, in a word...
CHARMING AS HELL!
(ok, so that's 3 words... so sue me!)

He's not off the table, probably won't be since I don't suspect his charm will ever become old hat for me. He's truly a wonderful friend but if I'm being completely honest, his humor & wit is like a breath of fresh air, not to mention he flirts like a true animal.

I DIG THAT!

I just gotta get myself out of this god damned RUT I'm in
&
MOVE THE FUCK ON!

Any ASSvice?
Please, spare me nothing, SPEAK CANDIDLY HERE, after all...

...if not for brutal honesty & raw emotion,
what else is barefoot blogging for?

de L icious L words...

1. lesbians
2. lipstick
3. laughter
4. light
5. learning
6. loving
7. longing
8. lost
   
9. literature
10. losing
11. leaping
12. licking
13. lovely
14. lips
15. list
16. lifelike
17. lions
18. landing
19. lake
20. laced
    
21. loner
    
22. luggage
23. lie
24. lying
25. lonesome
26. list
27. little
28. lively
29. lighthouse
30. leans
31. left

(anyone eLse have anymore words to Lend?)

Just Because I Can...