ars silentium (the art of silence)

First off, let me say that I have the best job in the entire world. It's a public service, it's something I love, I meet AMAZING people, I have fun, and everyday I go to work I know that it won't be the same as any other day. You might think you have that job too, but you don't. I do. It's mine. Mine and the other 5,000+ people I share it with worldwide.

That being said, I have to deal with lots and lots of children. Most of which are fantastic kids who are interested and jealous at the job that I have (as they should be). Some of them, however, need to be taught things. Others, need to have their parents taught things.

The service I provide runs for about 30min to an hour, depending on whatever circumstances might arise. I tell people this at the beginning, and that if they need to go to the bathroom do it now. I also tell them to stay on the path, to leave everything the way they saw it (via "No Touching") and no food or drink. Smoking is a no-no too, but it's kind of implied where I work.

My primary issue is this: The reason why people are asking for my service is because they want to learn, and they want their children to learn as well. So when, 15 minutes into my job, children are screaming and talking over me and wanting to go to the bathroom, I say to myself:

"IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE CHILD ISN'T INTERESTED IN DOING THIS, THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND WAIT UNTIL THEY CAN, YOU STUPID FUCKING MORON!!!!!!!"

Leading me to my next point: 90% of children out there DO NOT in any way suffer from ADD or ADHD or any other nonsense like that. 10% still do, which is sad, really, but anyway.

ADD and ADHD have become these safety nets that people like to use when:
1. They don't know how to discipline the kids (::sung to the tune of Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack":: I'm bringing spanking back / These fuckin' parents don't know how to act)
2. The kids don't go outside enough (I like my video games, but I still go out and run and bowl and see actual fucking sunlight that isn't produced my two 64-bit processors)
3. The kids straight up are not interested in what they're seeing (If the kid likes toy cars and trucks, and you take him to the Museum of Fine Arts and don't understand WHY the child is acting out, you're a tool, and you shouldn't be breeding)
4. The parents have 'run out of options', and need something to blame (because OBVIOUSLY it could NEVER EVER in a MILLION YEARS be the SHITTY ASS PARENTING!!!!!)

Leading me to my next point:

Spanking.

I know alot of you hippy fuckstains think that spanking is somehow 'barbaric' and 'cruel and unusual punishment' for a child. You're an idiot, and I'll prove it logically.

Go look at any mammal in the wild that's raising a child. See what they do when the kid does something that they're not supposed to. Go for it, look.
Dolphins? They get whacked.
Lemurs? They get punched in the head.
Lions? They get clawed in the face.
Gorillas? Backhanded.
Every single mammal on the planet has got a clue about how to do it, EXCEPT THE ONE THAT WALKS UPRIGHT AND INVENTED THE FUCKING iPOD!!!!!

Now, justifying what I said, I do NOT think that beating a child excessively, with or without a foriegn object, is a great idea. Nor do I think that depriving a child of a meal is a good idea either, but that might be because I'm hungry. But I am ALL ABOUT having non-toxic soap on hand for when a child gets mouthy. Cruel? Maybe. Effective? You bet your sweet little ass it is.

That's my rant for the day. And relationships are still confusing as hell.

"We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching."
Roy L. Smith