Note to self.....

So I'm up late on the phone with my best friend, and the conversation takes a turn into anything and everything sexual.....as it always does....and i start wondering .......why is it so wrong to be a woman and sexually confident?.....When did that make a woman less desirable and perceived as a tart?.....If it's what i want then why can't i walk up to someone who i have this insatiable urge for and say "I want to be with you tonite and i don't want it to last longer than that, but need to feel like it is more than that....can you do that for me?" and not be looked at as easy or a whore, but as confident and not a game player.....why not be who i am right from the beginning and not pretend like i want something that i don't if i don't.....and why can't they do that with me....I guess people don't realize that maybe if you ask for what you want.....you might just get it.....and why can't i be honest with someone if i want more than just one thing....and not scare them off, or make me seem boring or a prude when i tell them that....why is it that people seem to think that you can't be serious with someone and sexually confident at the same time....why can't you be both.....at first they love the fact that i'm everything they wished for......i'm a smart, independent, sexy young woman who loves to make them feel desired, needed or yearned for.....I love that i can spend one nite with them and pretty much learn their exact need in certain areas without their explaination.....i can give them confidence in areas they are insecure about stemming from past relationships, and make them see that all they have to do is listen, or pay attention and they can learn how to make someone feel incredible as i make them feel....maybe that's the problem with me....i make them too confident, or confident enough to be with other people.....but at least i have the memories of when i....(and let me gloat here).......i made them scream from enjoyment....and i mean scream....(it's a special trick i learned that has a lot to do with the tongue, placement, and of course timing....it's all about timing) And remember girls....don't rush it.....make them wait for it :-)
Whats wrong with making someone feel like you have been made just for their pleasure.....that you have memorized every aspect of their body and love every inch of it.....and are not shy in showing it either....why can't you let them know that they bring a side of you out that only they see....the saucy minx that you can be......the side that is daring, eager and willing to try new things....the side that begs for their touch or even just hearing their voice.....to taste them, touch them, and get pleasure just from pleasing them......
I guess that is too much for people to handle....all that bundled up in one package.....probably don't believe it's real....who knows??
I give all of me to whoever i feel deserves it....and i'm very open and honest about everything in my life....i don't really hold anything back....i've been thru too much to do otherwise.....and they always love that....but always leave it......
I guess i'm not meant to understand it.....