Old People

Senior Citizen!! I know I will be there one day but until I get there, they are so dangerous on the road!! They drive on the road as if they own it. They don't care if the speed limit say 45 mph, they will drive at their own speed (which is 15 mph). They are always in the fast lane, why??? They will not use the turn signal. You basically if you follow them you best not follow too close.

I overheard one of them telling one of their friend, they come out right after 9 a.m. and they don't come out after 2 p.m. The friend ask him why this crazy schedule. He was saying before 9 a.m., all the crazy people are either rushing to work or getting the kids to school. Right after 2 p.m., the same thing. The crazy people are rushing home from work or rushing to get the kids home from school. And he call us "crazies".

If Thoughts Could Kill...

...I'd have one LESS SDF!

Honest to CHRIST, if I had to hear SDF spew ONE MORE IGNORANT ASININE COMMENT MY WAY ABOUT HOW I PARENT MY CHILD, I WAS GOING TO SCREAM!

Aside from this particular SDF NOT being a PARENT yet at all, they have HARDLY HAD ANY CHILDCARE EXPERIENCE PERIOD, AMEN, END OF STORY!
AND to my knowledge, when AROUND children, they just do NOT take to this SDF period!

So WHY is this SDF giving ME PARENTING ASSVICE?
Who the FUCK knows, other than perhaps they are so bored with their own life they've gotta try & parent vicariously through ME!

NEWSFLASH:

NEVER!
GOING!
TO!
HAPPEN!

You wanna parent?
HAVE YOUR OWN KIDS!
Mine are just that, MINE.

I was back to wishing for my 'super power' again, dammit WHY CAN'T WE ALL HAVE AT LEAST ONE? Being able to reach through the friggenphone & choking the SHIT out of this SDF's know it all ass would've been SO NICE!
A barefootblogger can dream...

ars silentium (the art of silence)

First off, let me say that I have the best job in the entire world. It's a public service, it's something I love, I meet AMAZING people, I have fun, and everyday I go to work I know that it won't be the same as any other day. You might think you have that job too, but you don't. I do. It's mine. Mine and the other 5,000+ people I share it with worldwide.

That being said, I have to deal with lots and lots of children. Most of which are fantastic kids who are interested and jealous at the job that I have (as they should be). Some of them, however, need to be taught things. Others, need to have their parents taught things.

The service I provide runs for about 30min to an hour, depending on whatever circumstances might arise. I tell people this at the beginning, and that if they need to go to the bathroom do it now. I also tell them to stay on the path, to leave everything the way they saw it (via "No Touching") and no food or drink. Smoking is a no-no too, but it's kind of implied where I work.

My primary issue is this: The reason why people are asking for my service is because they want to learn, and they want their children to learn as well. So when, 15 minutes into my job, children are screaming and talking over me and wanting to go to the bathroom, I say to myself:

"IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE CHILD ISN'T INTERESTED IN DOING THIS, THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND WAIT UNTIL THEY CAN, YOU STUPID FUCKING MORON!!!!!!!"

Leading me to my next point: 90% of children out there DO NOT in any way suffer from ADD or ADHD or any other nonsense like that. 10% still do, which is sad, really, but anyway.

ADD and ADHD have become these safety nets that people like to use when:
1. They don't know how to discipline the kids (::sung to the tune of Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack":: I'm bringing spanking back / These fuckin' parents don't know how to act)
2. The kids don't go outside enough (I like my video games, but I still go out and run and bowl and see actual fucking sunlight that isn't produced my two 64-bit processors)
3. The kids straight up are not interested in what they're seeing (If the kid likes toy cars and trucks, and you take him to the Museum of Fine Arts and don't understand WHY the child is acting out, you're a tool, and you shouldn't be breeding)
4. The parents have 'run out of options', and need something to blame (because OBVIOUSLY it could NEVER EVER in a MILLION YEARS be the SHITTY ASS PARENTING!!!!!)

Leading me to my next point:

Spanking.

I know alot of you hippy fuckstains think that spanking is somehow 'barbaric' and 'cruel and unusual punishment' for a child. You're an idiot, and I'll prove it logically.

Go look at any mammal in the wild that's raising a child. See what they do when the kid does something that they're not supposed to. Go for it, look.
Dolphins? They get whacked.
Lemurs? They get punched in the head.
Lions? They get clawed in the face.
Gorillas? Backhanded.
Every single mammal on the planet has got a clue about how to do it, EXCEPT THE ONE THAT WALKS UPRIGHT AND INVENTED THE FUCKING iPOD!!!!!

Now, justifying what I said, I do NOT think that beating a child excessively, with or without a foriegn object, is a great idea. Nor do I think that depriving a child of a meal is a good idea either, but that might be because I'm hungry. But I am ALL ABOUT having non-toxic soap on hand for when a child gets mouthy. Cruel? Maybe. Effective? You bet your sweet little ass it is.

That's my rant for the day. And relationships are still confusing as hell.

"We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching."
Roy L. Smith

She didn't do this again

My two girls take dancing classes in the evening. They go there twice a week. When i drop them off, they expect me to be there (security thing). I have no problem with this because I can catch up by doing my reading.

Well, there is a Mom who comes but she brings her whole family with her (minus husband - who is helpless but that's another story). The middle child is the one taking the dancing class but she brings her whole troop because catch this, she wants to go for a walk with another mother there. She leaves the oldest (girl - 8 yrs old) to babysit the youngest (boy - 3 yrs old). She tells the oldest to watch and take care the youngest. Well you know the youngest can stay still for a couple of minutes and he start screaming. The older sister is trying to keep him quiet and do her best. This is causing a big commotion in the room. When the mother comes back from her walking, the oldest is trying to tell the Mom what had happened. You know what she does, she ignors the daughter but firmly telling the daughter why she need to go out walking. Excuse me, if you have time to go walking, you need to make time to spend quality time with your kids. A couple of the Mom who knows her say she does so much that she forgets her priorities. I can tell because leaving a child alone to take care of a sibling is really wrong.

Oh, the reason she feel she can leave her youngest there with the oldest is she needs help, all the other Mom around will help. We kind of look at her and shook our heads.

The Moms around are ignoring this whole thing because apparently she does this at other functions (we live in a small town). She signs up to bring snacks but forgets. She always speak negatively to people. She always kiss up to teacher. I try to help her at the beginning but I got smart in what she is trying to do. Every time she brings her kids into the studio, I go to the other side of the room.

OMG my head is going to EXPLODE!!!!!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! >phew<>

My brother-in-law is a complete douchebag. He doesn't like me .. why you ask? I have no fucking idea. He believes that he, and his family, are "too good" for me. He also thinks that his sister, who I married, is too good for me as well. That, I might agree with seeing as I definitely got the better deal ;). However, I think that I'm too good for him. He, after all, is 31 years old and just recently got his first apartment where he lives by himself and he only got said apartment because his ex kicked his ass out and I refused to let him move in with us and mooch off of us!!!! Oh and he doesn't even pay his own rent!!!! Mommy and Daddy do that for him. Me? I'm happily married, we have our own house and we have good reliable cars, but at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me is that I have someone to go home to. Someone who loves me unconditionally. I honestly think that is part of his problem because his friends are starting to settle down and get married and he is still single and alone.

Here's some backround -- The whole drama started when, at the request of HIS mother, I befriended his ex in order to stay in contact with my neice when all the court stuff was going on. She had a restraining order against him so he wasn't allowed to see our neice. Now during this time I was going and picking up our niece for visits so that she could see myself, my wife and her grandparents. He actually said to us "If I can't see her I don't want any of you seeing her" Can we say SELFISH FUCKING Tard?! Yes we can ;) Needless to say we all told him to piss off and that if we wanted to see her we would continue to see her and it wasn't our fault that he screwed up and couldn't see her.

Well my MIL decided that she wanted me to pick up my neice and bring her to thier house so that he could see her KNOWING that there was a restraining order barring him from seeing her. I would not agree to do that. I refused so my MIL went to niece's mother and asked if they could take her for the day and then let him see his daughter. I refused to be at any family visit/fuction where this was taking place. My MIL asked my wife to LIE to me and tell me that he wasn't going to be there ... and she did. Not only did she lie to me, but she took pictures that day of him with his daughter - ok if you're going to lie to me make sure there's not proof you dumbass!!! I will never forgive my MIL for asking my wife to lie to me. It just makes you realize how little she thinks of our relationship.

Anyways back to the present ....
I am still friends with his ex. They "get along" some what and he sees his daughter. I called his ex yesterday and he happened to be there. As soon as she picks up the phone he starts screaming in the backround about how if he wants to claim his daughter on his taxes it's none of my fucking business. Ummmm ... what the fuck?! I called to ask her a question about the gym! Then she proceeds to ask me about my experience with filing since i have a child and how the earned income works so I tell her that generally the person who makes less money gets more of an income credit when they claim the child. So she tells him that which sends him on this tyraid about how I need to mind my own fucking business. Ummmm... FUCK OFF!!!!!!

This coming from the person who took his ex's child support card {it's like a debit card they put your child support on and you can use it as such} when he was living with her because "it's his money". This same person who bitches and complains and feels inconvienced when he has to come see his daughter on the weekend instead of hanging out with his buddies and watching football. Are you fucking kidding me? He is the most selfish, self absorbed person I have EVER met in my entire life. He honestly thinks that the world revolves around him and that people have nothing better to do than talk about him and what he's doing.

So now that he hates me anytime my niece refers to me as Aunty he corrects her and tells her that my wife is only to be referred to as Aunty and that I'm just "Jane" with no Aunty attached. Yet he will acknowledge MY daughter when he speaks to her. He's such a fucking prick. I have been the MOST consistant person in our niece's life. Even when the rest of the family couldn't see her I was visiting with her and now because he's so fucking juvenile he's going to take it out on a three year old and tell her she can't call me Aunty anymore. How fucking old are you?? I'm sure that soon enough he won't "allow" me to be around her either. I'm so glad that her mother has full custody of her and that she knows he's a fucking retard. At least I know I'll be able to keep a relationship with my niece ... or at least I hope so! If I'm not "allowed" to see her my wife nor my daughter will be seeing her either since it's a package deal, you fuckwad!

I'm SO SO SO pissed off about this entire thing. I told my wife last night that I'm done playing nice. I am no longer going to acknowledge his existance on my planet nor am I going to continue to pretend to like him or even tolerate him when he is so disrepectful to me. Life is too short to spend time being nice to people that you can't stand!!!!

Sorry so long, but I had to get it out!!!!!

beautiful chaos

Here's the deal. I hate being a fucking hypocrite. I also hate hypocrites (if you're one of those people that is thinking "Oh, then that means you hate yourself!", then give yourself a cookie and fucking choke on it.)

What this is referencing to specifically is the fact that I've had a strong standpoint on unfaithful relationships. I've been one of those people that always thought cheating was wrong, pure and simple. After actually living in a world where black and white don't exist anymore, and all there is now is the millions of gray shaded areas that society feeds us, I've seen that 'pure and simple' just doesn't exist anymore, pure and simple.

In case you're an idiot and haven't been paying attention for the past two paragraphs, here it is: I cheated on my significant other. ::gasp:: "But Starry, that means, by your own advice, that you should break up with your s.o.!" Under normal circumstances, yeah, it would. However, my s.o. doesn't know about it. ::gasp2:: "But Starry, isn't trust the cornerstone of a good relationship?" I agree wholeheartedly. But the person I cheated with happens to be my s.o.'s best friend. ::gasp3:: And before you ask another dumb question, the person I cheated with also happens to be the person that I've been dreaming about since last August. ::gaspofdeath::

I know, quite the pickle. Meanwhile, the current s.o. has been having problems with the Ex. Not to mention still living with said Ex. Oddly enough, it doesn't bother me that much. Which only makes me a little more sure that I'm not 'in love', but that I do love them in the sense of devotion and friendship. Meanwhile, me and the person I cheated with have stopped talking, but have seen eachother afterwards while me and my s.o. have been together. Awkward at first, but we're both good at putting on pretty faces for the public. God dammit, that face. How I love that face...or do I?

Part 2 of the conundrum: I'm still unsure if I'm in love with, or just infatuated with the one-night object of my desire. Worse, I'm COMPLETELY unaware of what they think, making the situation alot more mentally taxing and physically upsetting. So on top of the obvious guilt ridden conscience, I'm now wondering if it was love that came in, or just lust. Praying to God that it was love. I really, really want it to be love.

More goes with the puzzle, but I'm sure that you people are already choking on the 3-course drama dinner that I've served you. Perhaps next time I'll bitch more about this. Or I'll bitch about people that bitch about their relationship problems.

Wouldn't that just be so hypocritical.

"And those with defeat on their faces, are those that we must keep alive."
-Further Seems Forever, The Moon Is Down

In Laws

I am very lucky, I actually like my in laws. Before I got married, I heard horror stories from my married friends about the spawns of Satan that they had inherited when they married. My in laws are very sweet. I have not felt any resentments or pressures and they don't stick their nose into our business any more than my parents do. There is one area where there is a bit of conflict. My in laws are very religious, my father in law is a minister for the Church of Christ and they spend all day Sunday in prayer services and Bible study. I was raised Catholic, but have become more of a spiritual person. I don't really affiliate myself with any one religion. I have never hidden this from anyone. My husband knows my feelings on organized religion and I've never pretended otherwise around my in laws. This has never been a problem, until now. And I shouldn't say it's a problem, but I have a sense that it may become one. I am 7 1/2 months pregnant with my in laws first grandson. They have two granddaughters, but for some reason (maybe it's a Hispanic thing) there was always allot of hinting and pressure for me to have a boy. So here I am, weeks away from giving birth to the prodigal grandson, and my mother in law wants to "have a talk". It's some what odd when, at 32, one is still anxious to have a meeting with a parental unit. The talk started out inconspicuous enough. First, she said she wanted to talk about "Freedom in Finances". Ok. She has recently gotten involved in some financial planning things and wanted to help my husband and I to start saving for a house ....excellent. Then, she moved on to wanting to talk about "Freedom in the Lord'...not excellent. I respect her beliefs and her faith...I actually admire anyone who has a strong faith, but don't expect me to be converted. So she went on for a bit about how she's not saying we have to go to church, but we should start reading scriptures at home so we can find guidance and "they way". I have nothing against reading my son Bible stories, I think they can be excellent teaching tools for what is right and wrong, but I also think the Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and Pagans have stories that are do this too. I also think that Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia are equally qualified to teach good v. evil. So where will this go. I don't know. We are suddenly being invited to more "church group" events. Currently, my husband is noncommittal about the whole thing. I have a feeling that this will be get worse possibly coming to a head, before it gets better. Hubby and I are going to have to sit down and form a plan of some sort, but I think I"ll cross that bridge when I get to it, I have enough on my plate right now!

I'm lucky My Hubby is so cute, cause I won't deal with this for just anyone!!

SDF's...

...SMALL DOSE FRIENDS!

We all have em'- those friends we love to love, but from a distance typically
& in short stints rather than lengthy visits, yes?
Well hell, YES because that's my VENT tonight!

First, let me start off by saying, I love ALL MY FRIENDS!
*honest*
However, there are some that, had they lived closer
or were regular callers to me on a daily basis...


...I'D SHOOT MYSELF!
*I don't even own a gun but I'D SURE AS HELL FIND A WAY TO GET ONE!*

I'm friendly with everyone & I have yet to meet someone who I thought,
ugh, I can't be friends with him/her...
BUT
the friends who I have who truly PISS ME OFF TO NO END
are the ones I like to refer to as my :
SMALL DOSE FRIENDS!
(henceforth known as SDF's.)


The ones that, we talk but once a week, IF THAT,
and even THAT conversation can sometimes be touch & go!

Say the wrong thing, imply something they didn't anticipate & BAM, pissy attitude that I want nothing more to do with than to simply HANG UP ON & continue with my day/night.

Is that so wrong?

C'mon, I know for a fucking fact that I AM TYPICALLY 'THAT FRIEND' TO MOST PEOPLE!

They all love me, especially when I cook for them, but I usually end up being THEIR SMALL DOSE FRIEND, so it goes without saying that I can sure as hell vent about mine if they can have me as theirs... yes?

YES!!!

So, let's run down the SDF list, shall we?
(get a beverage, this is gonna be a read...)

SDF #1: we'll call her 'WOUND SOTIGHT' drives me MENTAL &
God bless her, she's a doll, truly she is but
OMG, SOMETIMES IF SHE WERE CLOSE & PERHAPS A PORCELIAN DOLL,
I'D SMASH HER TO PIECES WITH A HAMMER!
She is NEVER chill or relax, ALWAYS READY TO POP A VEIN IN HER HEAD and NEVER without a HUGE DRAMA HAPPENING AT THAT VERY MOMENT THAT SHE'S CALLED YOU! SOMEONE'S ON FIRE, MY ARM FELL OFF, I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE, I AM A SO & SO WITH NO SUCH & SUCH ETC...
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST, SIT DOWN, HAVE A COOKIE & SOME MILK &
C
H
I
L
L
!

(never gonna happen, I digress...)
Oh, and for the record, talking to SDF #1 is never an actual conversation, as she DOES NOT LET YOU GET ONE WORD IN EDGEWISE... she's the queen of the 'TALK OVER' but that's a post for another day.

shhh, did I just say that?
OOPS!

NOT!

Next we have SDF #2, well call 'NEEDY BIOTCH'...
the girl NEVER has anything FUN & LIGHT to talk about, EVER!
It's always 'oh woe is me, I'm so alone, I'm so sad, I have no man, I have no friends, nobody loves me, nobody wants me, I'm going to die alone..."

(excuse me whilst I go HANG MYSELF!)


GOD WOMAN!
Don't you realize that when ALL YOU DO IS TALK LIKE THAT THAT YOU'RE MAKING PEOPLE NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? DON'T YOU? EVEN A LITTLE BIT SEE THAT? SERIOUSLY, YOU DON'T!?

My LORD!
(sadly, God has no part in this, I've asked him for help on her before, not an answer in sight...)

And last but certainly not least, we'll call to your attention SDF #3, I'll lovingly deem:
SIL.
*you're smart, FIGURE IT OUT!*

She just pisses me off, PERIOD.
When my phone rings & I see SDF SIL on the caller id, I cringe.
It's never a 'conversation' it's never a 'chat' it's never ANYTHING MORE THAN THIS:

'Ummmmmmmm Barefoot? Ummmmmmm welllllllll I wasssss wonderingggggggg, wellllllllll, Ummmmmmmm, I wanted to maybe askkkkkkkk you a quuuuuesssssssssstionnnnnnnnnnn, ummmmmmm about, wellllllll... etc etc, HOLY FUCK etc.."

IF I COULD REACH THROUGH THE PHONE, GRAB HER BY HER NECK & SHAKE HER VIOLENTLY... oh, I'd SO DO IT!
That would be my super power, if I could have one, that's what I'd want AND OMG I'D USE IT!

The girl wants to pretend to be my friend...
*she's not, we hate each other*
she 'wants' to ask me a 'question'
BUT NEVER ACTUALLY FUCKING GETS AROUND TO DOING IT!
So I'm left with allot of Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm's and Weeellllllllllllllll's and Sooooooooo's etc.....

JESUS MARY & JOSEPH CAN'T SOMEONE CUT THIS BAREFOOT BITCH A BREAK IN THE SDF DEPT?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
Bueller?

Oooh, now there's an idea, I'll go watch a little Ferris Bueller's Day Off & take my phone off the hook, if only for those 102 minutes of peace & SDF quiet!

*Ahhhhhhhh*
I'm relaxed just thinking about it...

Good Cop - Bad Cop

20 Year old daughter thinks she can speak to me any old way she wants. It's not unusual for her to tell me to shut up - call me a bitch - tell me to fuck off - or any other duly inappropriate phrase. Usually husband will say "don't talk to your mother that way". This is said in such a way that she knows that this is the worst it will be - and continues on with her disrespectful ways. Yesterday she had been telling us she was getting a cell phone - and the text messaging would cost her a pretty penny - my response was maybe she should not plan to do as much text messaging to keep costs down - I was then told to shut up. Husband said his usual line and that was that. Ten minutes later daughter asked me if I had some gum (for clarification purposes, husband was on the phone at the time - in the same room) I replied that yes, I had gum. She asked for a piece. I replied no - I felt no desire to be nice to her at that moment, after the way I was treated. She stomped her foot like a 3 year old and said - loudly - yes! Give me a piece. The argument ensued - me telling her that if she couldn't talk to me with respect, I saw no need to be nice or respect her - petty stuff, really. She grabbed my purse and started rifling through it. I grabbed it away from her. It was pretty childish - but I was mad! Husband - who is still on the phone - reaches into his pocket and hands her his pack of gum......!

Later on, I let him have it! As usual, I come away looking like the bitch mom, and he is Mr. Nice Guy. He claims that he did not know that I had told her no - he thought that I just didn't have any. Whatever - but I told him that he needed to step up to the plate more, and let her have it when she is disrespectful. He claims that he does. I explained to him how his monotone "don't talk to your mother that way" did nothing. I asked him if he thought it had lessened the disrespect? His response was "well what was I supposed to do"? I said that "if my kid was talking to my wife that way, she would get popped in the mouth each and everytime she did it - until she realized that talking that way was not going to fly in this house". He didn't have much to say to that - but hopefully it sunk in. We really never hit our kids - we've never believed that threats or hitting was a way to parent - but when you have a kid who has zero respect - and out weighs and towers over the mom - and uses her size to intimidate, I think it is justified. I feel like I am not welcome in my own home. If it was just me - she would be out of here.

I have a dream

Yesterday, a friend asked me what's my dream???everyday busy at working and make living. most people almost lost all of their original dreams. I used have many many dreams but now I almost forget all of them, finally the only one dream still in my mind is a travel theme book bar. there people can read all books and magazines about travel, have a cup of tea or coffee, or just day dreaming and rest.
there is a big window grab all sunshine full in room. better the roof is glass^_^ in day time could get sunshine in night could see star in sky. many many book full in the wall and built as partition wall
people who love travel could come here read books and magazine, learning travel skill and knowledge. shareing pictures story and experience about their travel. come here to taste characteristic food from all over the world. wireless internet access,the bar have a website and bbs for internet travel lover to communicate, provide new travel mode, people from different place could help each other travel their hometown or where they live. and other people help him or her to travel their place. to travel to help to make friends. what a happy thing.
the bar could cooperate with some hotel and travel agent to get a lower price for bar's clints.
and cooprate with those travel things saler get lower price for clints too.
is it a good idea???? any more good suggestion???

STAY HOME!!!!

I know that others have touched on this, but I feel compelled to put in my $.2 worth!!

If you are sick...and you MAY be contagious...and you work in close contact to other people.....STAY HOME!!!! I have 3 freakn people this week alone who I work with that sound like they have the freakn PLAGUE and they are all in work!!! One woman can't talk, the other one has a rattle in her chest that sounds like her lungs are trying to climb out her rib cage and the third's nose runs so much it could win the Boston marathon. And they all say the same thing "Well I feel better" or "I sound better than I did yesterday" (you mean when you were in work breathing on me) or "I was already contagious before I knew I was sick so I've already spread my germs"

ARRRRGGGHHH....I want to shoot them all. Or at the very least put them in quarantine! Look, don't get me wrong. There have been days when I've had cramps from hell, or the start of a migraine and I"ve come to work because I do understand that you don't want to use all your sick time and sometimes you figure you can muddle through. But you can't catch cramps or a migraine so the only person I'm hurting is myself. But when you're SICK, have a cold or anything like that and you have sick time , and I KNOW they all do, please be considerate of your coworkers and take a day or two to stay home.

Because if the pregnant woman gets sick...she may have to kill them all!!!

Laughing 2-Gether...

...if only for a solid hour or so,
is hands down, the best way I can think of to spend my free time.

I love you.
I think deep down I always have, only now I'm so very sure of it.
I just love you.
Always your friend...

-Me.

makes sense

IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. if you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Ruminations

State of the Union Address:

• What was with Nancy Pelosi and the constant chewing...was it her lip, the inside of her mouth, tic tacs.....what was that?

American Idol:

• Randy and Paula used to be nicer...
• I'm always amazed at the disbelief on the faces of the contestants when they are told "Dog, that was not good".
• Haven't they learned yet that the costume will get them nowhere?

Chain Letters / Chain E-Mails:

• In the past month I have received 3 email "recipe" chain letters; 1 snail mail "recipe" chain letter and 1 snail mail "Lottery Ticket" chain letter. Stop already! These were a bad idea in the 70's - and they are a bad idea today.

Men and Their Mid-Life Crisis':

• Ok, so you reach the wise old age of 40 something, and you suddenly have this feeling that your life is passing you by. You have a gorgeous wife that loves you to death and has stood by you through thick and thin; 2 really great kids; a wonderfully supportive extended family; a beautiful house that you have both worked hard for; a wide-screen TV with TIVO and all the satellite channels any one man could want; all the other various toys that men seem to need - yet you risk it all on a 5 day rendevouz with an ex-girlfriend (whom you haven't seen in 18+ years and is also married with children) Guess what? NOW your life is passing you by.....was it really all worth it? You traded all of the above for curtain #1 - and behind that curtain was just a plain old piece of ass - and let's face it - a piece of ass is just that - a piece of ass. I'm thinking "not so much".

Question:

Is one kiss between friends an invitation for disaster,
or is it simply just what it was intended to be, a kiss?

Thoughts?

Stupidity Runs Rampant Down The Branches Of Our Family Tree...

...sad but true.

If you're sick & not feeling up to par, do you GO to a family function where there are going to be YOUNG CHILDREN there?

NO.

If you are the PARENTS of young children who were all three, recently VERY ILL, do YOU then go to said gathering ANYWAY with all three kids hoping that the worst is over & everything will be ok?

NO.

When you are the one smart relative with a small child who DOES stay home to keep your little one away from the FUNK are you then praised for having the smarts to do so in the first place?

NO.

Instead, you hear "why aren't you COMING?"
"we haven't seen you in forever!"
"The kids have never met, I really was hoping we'd see you!"
etc...
blah
fucking
blah.

Newsflash everyone, I WILL NOT BRING MY CHILD SOMEPLACE WHERE THERE ARE CHILDREN WHO, LESS THAN 24 HOURS AGO, WERE VOMITING IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE CHICK FROM THE EXORCIST WOULD ENVY, END OF STORY!

When you are the ADULT who KNOWS you don't feel good, SIT YOUR ASS AT HOME & CHILL, YOU'LL BE DOING EVERYONE A MAJOR FAVOR IN THAT ONE MOVE THAN YOU DID BY ACTUALLY SHOWING UP & SHARING YOUR SPOOGE WITH THE MASSES!

Why is it that stupidity always seems to grow the most from your own family tree?

UGH!

Seriously?

No, really, are you honestly calling me when you thought I was out of town in the hopes of reaching my machine to deliver such a message? Are you saying that you don't have the balls to talk to me in person to deliver such news? Could you quite possibly be the worlds biggest coward? Were you surprised enough to piss yourself when I actually ANSWERED the phone?
SURPRISE BIOTCH!
Sure, I understand... yes I get it, you went with someone else, of course it was lovely to meet you & thank you for your time... blah blah 'SHUTTHEFUCKUP'blah...

Hope whoever it is you went with will do the job that I know I was & am capable of delivering.
Hope that it works out & my phone doesn't ring in a week/month or so with you asking if I'll reconsider?
(I won't.)
Hope you made the right decision... because you got one shot, & now it's gone.
Me & my skills are MOVING ON.
Thanks for playing... NEXT!

What a pain in the ass!

So, my wife's been sick. She got up this morning bitchin' and complainin' about how she didn't feel good so I told her to stay home and get some rest. Did she listen to me? Nope, she went to work. So, at about 2:30 she sends me an e-mail about how they told her to go home because she's sick - HELLO I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT 8 HOURS AGO!!!!!! Why does it matter when someone else tells you? If you would have listened to me when I said it you could have been resting and getting better instead of going to work and complaining! UGH!!!

She's the biggest baby when she's sick. She moans and groans about how she's "dying" and how sick she is and wants me to take care of her and baby her, but when I'm sick she doesn't baby me and take care of me because she's "not the nurturing one" I am. GRRRRRRRR

I love her, but sometimes I want to KICK HER ASS!!!!

IDOL

OK Not sure if anyone else watches American Idol, But is it just me that the way that Paula, Randy and of course Simon play on the emotions and dreams of the auditioners is absolutely DISGUSTING. I'm getting sick of it i must admit that sometimes it's funny but they take it to the extreme. I just think that a show like this thats want to make someone into the American Idol shouldn't they be somewhat of an idol themselves. I would never make any of them my Idol. Not the way they treat people.

Note to self.....

So I'm up late on the phone with my best friend, and the conversation takes a turn into anything and everything sexual.....as it always does....and i start wondering .......why is it so wrong to be a woman and sexually confident?.....When did that make a woman less desirable and perceived as a tart?.....If it's what i want then why can't i walk up to someone who i have this insatiable urge for and say "I want to be with you tonite and i don't want it to last longer than that, but need to feel like it is more than that....can you do that for me?" and not be looked at as easy or a whore, but as confident and not a game player.....why not be who i am right from the beginning and not pretend like i want something that i don't if i don't.....and why can't they do that with me....I guess people don't realize that maybe if you ask for what you want.....you might just get it.....and why can't i be honest with someone if i want more than just one thing....and not scare them off, or make me seem boring or a prude when i tell them that....why is it that people seem to think that you can't be serious with someone and sexually confident at the same time....why can't you be both.....at first they love the fact that i'm everything they wished for......i'm a smart, independent, sexy young woman who loves to make them feel desired, needed or yearned for.....I love that i can spend one nite with them and pretty much learn their exact need in certain areas without their explaination.....i can give them confidence in areas they are insecure about stemming from past relationships, and make them see that all they have to do is listen, or pay attention and they can learn how to make someone feel incredible as i make them feel....maybe that's the problem with me....i make them too confident, or confident enough to be with other people.....but at least i have the memories of when i....(and let me gloat here).......i made them scream from enjoyment....and i mean scream....(it's a special trick i learned that has a lot to do with the tongue, placement, and of course timing....it's all about timing) And remember girls....don't rush it.....make them wait for it :-)
Whats wrong with making someone feel like you have been made just for their pleasure.....that you have memorized every aspect of their body and love every inch of it.....and are not shy in showing it either....why can't you let them know that they bring a side of you out that only they see....the saucy minx that you can be......the side that is daring, eager and willing to try new things....the side that begs for their touch or even just hearing their voice.....to taste them, touch them, and get pleasure just from pleasing them......
I guess that is too much for people to handle....all that bundled up in one package.....probably don't believe it's real....who knows??
I give all of me to whoever i feel deserves it....and i'm very open and honest about everything in my life....i don't really hold anything back....i've been thru too much to do otherwise.....and they always love that....but always leave it......
I guess i'm not meant to understand it.....

What are Friends for????

So my best friend who i will can Jane, she's a twenty something payroll accountant. She's a beautiful woman, we have been friends for ever and i mean forever since kindergarten. she's been with me through sickness, bad breakups and more. Not to mention that i have also been there for her as well, she is having a really tough time finding a man who is worthy of her, she is what we call the 2ND fiddle, no man realizes that she is for them until they cheat on her and she finds out Or they are still "friends" with an ex. What is up with that? why do men find it necessary to be friends with someone they have slept with or anything else for that matter. Why do woman think that it's OK to do that ladies don't remain friends with a man who you have either slept with or have a long relationship with. IT DOES NOT WORK. I tried before I was married didn't work out for either of us.
I can't even count on two hands how many times this has happened to her. I feel really bad for her every time it seems to look like a guy is great he's a total loser. Just like the rest. My husband and i are starting to think that we are bad judges of character.
Can anyone give me any ideas on what to do in some situations like these, i don't care what you have to say give me some advice on how to help her(I KNOW IT'S NOT REALLY ANY OF MY BUSINESS, BUT SHE'S MY FRIEND AND I WANT TO SEE HER HAPPY) She is actually on the verge of swearing off marriage and children since she is having a hard time finding the one.

Want & Hate...

I WANT him to miss me...


...I HATE that he doesn't.

'so Mothers be good to your daughters, too.'

I ran across an old journal of mine. It was from July of 2002. In it, I was ranting about my then 16 year old daughter. Funny, but we are still having all of the same issues with her, and she is now nearly 21.

There have been many times over the past 8 or 9 years that I have wondered if she would ever outgrow her behaviors - and hoping that at least they would start to diminish at some point. (In my head I know that the "some point" that I was hoping for was age 20 or so)

It chills me to think that she may always be the way she is - which is unpleasant, mean, disrespectful (to everyone, not just us) messy, irresponsible and unable to hold down a job. (she has had 6 different part time jobs in 2006 - none of which she still has).

I'm at a loss....

Thousands of hours and dollars spent on therapy - to only be told that "all that therapy made me worse, and was a waste of time".

If her dad and I were on the same page, she would not be living here with us. Sadly, he has not reached the point of "tough love" yet. His way is to keep her dependant - be the good guy. I get stuck being the bitch mother. Such a pleasant position to hold.

What The !@#$@!!$@#%

Jesus Mary & CHRIST ALL MIGHTY!
Why is it that EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND,
and I mean EVERY weekend
women everywhere have to fucking sit & patiently wait for
so & so or such & such?

Haven't I waited enough?
Haven't I PUT UP WITH ENOUGH?

Well I've had ENOUGH already!

It's time to shit or
GET
OFF
THE
POT!

I have spoken...

...now if only MEN LISTENED WITH THEIR DICKS!

*sigh*

Perhaps I should become a lesbian?

Is it just me??

Ok so I joined Weight Watchers the last week of December and so far I've lost 3.8 pounds and go for my second weigh in tonight. Over the weekend our friends, our best friends we'll call them Jane and Joe, came over to hang out. They both know that I've joined WW and that my wife has changed her eating habits in order to lose weight (she's lost 8 pounds!). So, we're all going to the Christmas Tree Shop last weekend and they decide the want to stop @ McDonald's on the way there. UGH! Ok, so I like chicken nuggets just as much as the next person, but I can't eat them. Well, I could, but it's just not worth it to me and I avoid the temptation. I did well, I didn't order anything, but I had to sit in the car while they were all eating McDonald's and I could just SMELL it and it was driving me nuts! No big deal, I'm always going to have temptations right?

So, the next day they are coming over again and spending the day at our house which is fine. So they come over and I make lunch and dinner for them. It's about 9:30 and they, again, decide that they want McDonald's. So this time I cave and eat their french fries which is no big deal cause I have the flex points to cover it. Now, the point of this story is this - Jane is constantly complaining about her weight. They spent the entire day at our house and I saw what she ate. Over the course of one day she had 3 donuts, 2 hotdogs, chips, tacos for dinner and she'd had snacks after that too. For snacks she had 2 granola bars, ice cream, and some cookies. At dinner she "only" had 2 tacos. About 9:30 when we went to McDonald's she ordered and ate a 20 piece nugget, double cheeseburger, and 2 large fries!!!

She's also a smoker and trying to get pregnant. She has some reproductive issues that she's been dealing with for years and she's had no luck thus far and I've told her that women who are overweight tend to have a harder time getting pregnant. I wasn't saying it to be a bitch, but as a friend who is trying to give some additional options for them to become pregnant. I just don't understand why someone who is SOOOOOOOO unhappy with their weight would eat like this! They say at WW that once you start the program you start to notice what others are eating and are in amazement. I've been amazed at what she eats before starting WW and now I'm just in awe. I can't imagine eating that much food!! Just in the weekend we hung out they had McDonald's twice which we all know is not exactly good for you and won't help you lose weight if you eat it!!

If you're REALLY that unhappy about yourself here's my advice to you:

GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY BITCHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eat better, join a gym, go for a walk, get some excercise - make an effort!!! If you don't want to get off your ass and make the effort I don't want to listen to you bitch and complain about being fat!!!!!!!!

Fat Ass Walking...

...That's right, that's what I did today, took my fat ass out for one very long fat WALK!
I need to move more & eat less.

Not much more of a post to this but it's nice seeing it in print, even if it's only on the computer.

To put it out here, gives it life, gives it a voice.

My fat has alot to say & right now it's saying it wants to slowly dissappear.

Walking every day should hopefully make that happen.

Nuff said.

What Gives?

So my wife and I generally exchange e-mails throughout the day just to chat or tell each other that we love one another, etc. She sends me this e-mail insinuating that she wants to have sex that night which I'm all for. So, we get home I make dinner we eat and we're sitting relaxing on the couch and it's 8 and she's SLEEPING on the couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummm ... what the fuck?!

Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, shit happens, you get tired whatever. However she does this to me ALL THE TIME. Now, I'm the one in the relationship that is always ready to go whenever, wherever doesn't matter. However, our sex life {which is completely sporadic} rests on her. She has some personal image issues that affects our sex life for reasons that are pretty self explanatory and it drives me insane. If I really had a problem with the way she looked and if I really didn't find her attractive would I have stayed with her for the last seven years? Would I have married her? No!

I just get soooooooooooooooo frustrated with her sometimes I just want to shake the shit out of her!!! This is so weird for me because I've never been in a relationship where sex was SUCH an issue and it's hard for me to deal with. We constantly argue about it and she constantly tells me that it's not me, it's her, but I can't help but feel that I'm partially responsible for her lack of desire to sleep with me!!

What the hell is the problem?!

Just curious...

...why is it that men, AND IT'S ALWAYS MEN, feel the need to show back up once they've made themselves the 'EX'? You had me, you could have kept me yet, you dumped me.
Now you hang around like a rat at a dumpster behind Mc'D's?
JESUS CHRIST what GIVES?
Look, I'm kewl with being your friend but when you say shit to me like;
"you never know, maybe you'll just give in & run away with me this year & get married so we can both just relax & not worry about the dating scene..."

WTF?

Look, I am nobodies concellation prize, got it?
You wanna be friends, fine I can be a friend... but that's just it.
FRIENDS.
NOT
friends with benefits
NOT
friends who toss little digs here & there implying anything dodgy
JUST
FRIENDS!

Maybe it's the penis, perhaps it sucks all the brain power
*what little there is in the poor bastards*
right
OUT!

Damn it, now I need some chocolate. LOL

ARGH!!!!

Ok so my brother-in-law's ex is a complete pain in my ass!!! They have a child togehter therefore we all have to be nice to her for the sake of my neice, who I love dearly, however she drives me insane!!!!!!!

There has been all kinds of baby mama drama and we've remained on good terms. We go to the gym together cause she pays for my membership - which is great for me! She just irritates me because she thinks she knows everything since she she talks to my mother-in-law ALL THE TIME!!!!!! It's so damn annoying!! Anytime anything needs to be done at the cemetery for my brother-in-law's stone my mother in law asks her to do it even though my wife has REPEATEDLY told her that she wants to be the one taking care of that kind of stuff.

So she'll call me and say well "MIL wants so and so done" and I'll just say I KNOW THAT SHE TOLD ME YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHy does she think that she's the only person who talks to my MIL???? Does she think that my wife or I don't talk to her ever?? Does she thing that just because she gave birth to their grand child she's "IN" the family??

Oh and another thing .. my wife adopted my daughter. Yup, I had her before we got together with a "boy" who is a complete waste of skin. Anywho, my MIL treats my daughter differently than she treats her other grandaughter. You can tell that she favors her because she is biologically HER grandaughter, know what I mean?? It just irritates the shit out of me!! My wife is so damn obvious because she's too busy trying to please her mom and be the perfect little daughter she'll never be because she's a big ol' lesbian!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!

I feel better now :)

No Frills, No Fluff...

...just raw honesty as it flows out of my brain, down my arms, into my fingertips
& is cranked out onto the keys in lightning speed.
It's funny when you've been blogging for so long & have a following of several hundred people you feel compelled to always be crafty, to always be amusing, to always be, well...
'always'.
Sometimes I don't want to be 'always' sometimes shit happens & I think " ugh, fuck that, NEVER!"
But alas, to let down the masses?
Not so much...
Thus Barefoot & Blogging is born...
And yes, for those of you wondering,
"she's not really always sitting there barefoot..."
Yes.
I.
Am.
I loathe shoes unless I absolutely have to wear them
& I don't own socks, period.
It's wild to have met other women like myself
with such a fond loathing for foot apparel,
but I did,
and to say these ladies light up my life
& make me happy to be part of theirs,
is an understatement.
They are now my sisters at heart
& I am thrilled to have been the brainchild behind B&B
Because the reality is, everyone deserves a place they can run to
& just get the shit down & OUT of their system,
& feel purged of the everyday crap that clutters our minds.
Once vented, we then move on & feel better for it.
Therapy is rockin, cheap therapy is the rockin with the ROLL!
C'mon ladies... let's enjoy the ride!
-OUT-